In the quiet of the night, 41-year-old Nicholas Onyeabor tossed and turned, his mind racing with intrusive thoughts as he grappled with insomnia.
This was a familiar battle for the self-described former porn addict, who had been fighting a lonely war against his addiction since 2008.
Onyeabor’s addiction to internet pornography began during his final year at a federal university in the South-West. Raised in a strict, conservative Christian household, he naively believed that his cravings would diminish once he got married in 2014. However, the addiction only deepened, drastically altering the dynamics of his marriage.
“As of the time I got married, I was so addicted to porn that my phone and laptop had files dedicated to all kinds of adult material I saved from the internet, and I would pleasure myself almost daily,” Onyeabor confessed. “My wife knew nothing about this. How do you tell your loving wife that you get off to hardcore material online?”
Onyeabor’s story is not an isolated one. Kolapo Adigun, a married father of two, revealed a similar descent into porn addiction after a friend introduced him to a collection of sexually explicit DVDs in 2011. Adigun’s cravings intensified after marriage, leading him to engage in extramarital affairs.
“After we got married, I frequently indulged in it at the office where there was a free internet connection. On some evenings, I would be so charged that I would rush home to make love. After a time, I just got bored with the thing and had fun with hook-up girls who could spice things up,” Adigun admitted.
Experts have identified excessive pornography consumption as a key driver of erectile dysfunction, a condition that affects a growing number of younger men. While quitting pornography is not an easy task, it is often described as a fast way for addicts to regain control of their lives and start feeling better.
As the prevalence of internet-enabled devices continues to provide unfettered access to explicit content, the hidden struggles of married men like Onyeabor and Adigun serve as a cautionary tale about the far-reaching consequences of porn addiction on relationships and personal well-being.
